


Come Back to Me

by TheaterGeekBoi



Category: Supernatural
Genre: 15X18 spoiler, Angel Castiel (Supernatural), Angst with a Happy Ending, Cas loves Dean, Dean is sad, Destiel is canon idc, Fluff and Angst, Grieving Dean Winchester, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-15
Updated: 2021-01-15
Packaged: 2021-03-10 18:42:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,699
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28281876
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheaterGeekBoi/pseuds/TheaterGeekBoi
Summary: SPOILERS FOR 15X18!!!!After the Empty takes Cas, Dean is left to mourn in the bunker. Castiel hears his prayer and *interrupting moose*.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 5
Kudos: 28





	Come Back to Me

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to the help of @FranIsBroken on twt we wrote this fanfic. I used like half of their twt responses to write this OoO. Also, thanks to Zak for pushing us to do this hahaha. Okie dokie. Hope you enjoy the story

Air.

That's all Dean sees as he stares on.

Empty. Air. Instead of Cas.

His Cas. Is gone. Taken. He remembers it like it was yesterday, which it's not. It's been a week. A week since he was grasping out to the empty space Cas left behind. It's been a whole week since he begged for something of Cas to cling to and cry over. One week since the deserted spot left a permanent hole in Dean's heart, but he's back here. What else was he supposed to do? They dealt with the apocalypse. There was no immediate danger to distract himself. Sam was with Eileen--happy. He didn't have to worry about being seen as weak. He could just be . . . kneeling on this floor, crying for the angel. His angel.

When Dean entered the armory for the first time since Cas d---since the incident his legs immediately gave out over the vacant spot Cas stood last. His head bent slightly as he sobbed. Everything became distant as soon as the tears fought their way out of his eyes. Dean tilted to the side knocking out one of the beer bottles keeping his company. Every time he tried to leave the room he came back with another beer. Too many bottles to count. Too many failed attempts to care.

After knocking 1, 3, 6, 5 ? too many bottles, Dean successfully shifted his kneeling position and looked up to the ceiling. "Cas?" He called out in a broken voice before clearing his throat, "Cas. I know you can't hear me. I-I wish you could hear me . . . but we did it. We won and . . . and I wish you were here. None of this would have happened without you and . . . I never got to say it back . . ." Dean bowed his head with closed eyelids as his throat went dry. "I'm so sorry I couldn't say it back. I---Castiel." He paused before whispering, "I love you too."

~

_Still beautiful. Still Dean Winchester._

A void of black nothingness is the first thing Cas sees following the pained green eyes of his beautiful hunter.

The first thing Castiel feels following the relieved happiness--- _I love you---_ is pain. An aching emptiness in his heart stabbing with such force it brings tears to his eyes. A wave of grief accompanies love. A love that longs and aches with just as much pain as the grief. He can't decide whether the floor is being ripped from under him or if a part of himself is being torn from his very soul. Perhaps it's both. But the feeling is disconnected. A part of him and not--dulled by mere distance.

Dean. 

Dean is in pain. He needs him. No. Dean doesn't want him. Not after---he doesn't have time to think. He has to act now before the Empty comes. Dean is in pain. That's all that matters. Cas looks down, scouring his pockets for something. Anything. And there. A bottle. A small bottle, but it was something. A tag attached itself to the cork. 

_To: Cas_

_From: Dean_

_You can use this as your magic healing potion for our next DnD campaign._

Cas smirked before placing the tag in his pocket.

There was always---if he did this, there would be no going back.

_Cas._

_Goodbye, Dean._

Cas opened the bottle and exhaled his essence.

"What are you doing?" A familiar voice growled from behind him.

Cas paused, "Something I should've done a long time ago." Cas topped the bottle with his grace and turned to face the Empty. "As a good man I know once said, 'think fast.'" Cas tossed the bottle to the fuming figure before crashing to the middle of a green field. 

Earth. 

~

After his 5th beer and 3rd cup of whiskey, everything goes blank. An aggravating thud pesters at his mind. 'Hang overs are shit,' is the first thing to come to Dean's mind followed by, "Wait. That thudding is not inside my head." 

Dean doesn't remember blacking out on the floor of the bunker library (again), but the empty beer bottles and the last cup of whiskey on the table tell a story of their own. He glances at the carved name next to the cup. 'Castiel.' _I love you_. The wind is knocked out of him for the second time this week. _Goodbye, Dean._ His thumb hovers over the name as he's holding his breath. Hoping. The thudding is back again, seemingly more exasperated this time.

Dean downs the rest of the whiskey before clumsily making his way to the stairs at the entrance of the bunker. He grips the railing and trips over a step. _THUD. THUD. THUD._ "Alright, alright. I'm comin'." Dean huffs, "Damn impatient bastards."

He makes it to the door and moves to open it. His hand hovers over the knob. Dean shivers as he cautiously opens the door. 

Castiel's blue eyes feel like water to a dying man as he stares into them. Dean can feel the warmth from Cas 3 feet away. His hair is more messy than usual and he smells weirdly of dirt, sweat, and---is that grass? Cas' eyebrows are furrowed and he has a small frown on his face while he looks over Dean, making sure his hunter is ok. 

"Dean, are you okay?" His raspy voice snaps him out of his reverie.

Dean's tears threaten to spill again before his face goes serious. "N-no. You're not here. I'm going crazy---"

"Dean. You not going craz---"

"What if you're just a hallucination? Man I shouldn't have drunk all that whiskey last night." Cas glances worryingly at the table spilling with empty bottles and a glass cup. Cas takes a step forward and Dean pulls his gun out from his waistband, pointing it at Cas. "What if you're Lucifer again?"

"Luci---Dean, what are you talking about?" 

"You could be Lucifer. Pretending like you're Cas again." Understanding dawns on Cas' face. "I mean you're dead. The real Cas is dead."

Cas' demeanor softens, "I was. I'm not anymore." Dean licks his quivering lips and lowers his gun, but his grip on the weapon tightens. "Remember?" The angel continues to step forward until Dean's back hits the railing. Cas' voice deepens, "I'm your huckleberry."

Dean drops his gun as his voice cracks, "Cas?"

Cas smirks reassuringly, "Hello Dean." Dean launches himself into the angel's warm arms. For a moment, Dean embraces him with closed eyes and a broken smile before he sobs into Cas' shoulder for the first time ever. Cas freezes before wrapping his arms around the hunter too. Dean grasps onto the angel's trenchcoat as though Cas might fade away if he lets go. His cries makes Castiel's heart clench, wishing to take that pain away from his righteous man. After a while, they slide to floor. Dean is practically sitting on Cas' lap and still hanging onto Cas when his sobs silence. Dean's mind aches for him to get off the floor and "stop acting like a damn sissy," but this time is different. This time he knows. He knows Cas loves him back. And Cas didn't know. Cas died thinking---He didn't think he'd have a chance to tell Cas. But now he does.

Dean pull his face away from Cas' shoulder. Cas looks at him with a certain love and gentleness. 'ow did I not see it before?' Dean knows he looks like hell. His eyes must be red shadowed by dark eye bags from all the crying and the nightmares. His nose is red and a little runny---there has to be a wet spot on Cas' trenchcoat from the crying and the runny nose. Not to mention he smells like alcohol from his little blackout last night. Still, Cas looks past that. He looks past the wrinkled clothes---sprinkled with little beer stains--and the cheeseburger socks (what they're his comfort socks! Can you blame a guy?!). Cas doesn't crinkle his nose and express any judgement. The angel just sits there with the hunter in his arms waiting patiently with soft eyes. Dean opens his mouth and freezes. He can feel the words piling up in his throat. He looks Castiel in the eyes, his blue ocean eyes, still holding a grip on his coat, and dares to speak: it was his turn to speak his truth.

Dean looks down and croaked, "You left me. You left me and you didn't give me a chance to say---you mean the world to me. I know I get angry and I push you away. I push everyone away. I don't know many. Maybe it's because I'm afraid of losing people I--losing people I care about. I just keep on losing people. But you. You always come back. Because you know me. Know me better than anyone Cas. Better than I know myself sometimes." Dean sniffles. " And you're so---you're you Cas. And you're so oblivious sometimes. And most of the time you hardly let me finish a god damn sentence. Because if you did you'd know that Cas-," Dean looks up, running his hands through Cas' messy black hair with tears in his eyes, "Castiel, I love you." Dean slides his hand down to Cas' neck as his green eyes greet blue. He whispers, slower this time, "I love you too."

Cas inhales sharply at the admission. Dean leans forward, gently nudging Cas to close the gap between them. There noses brush against each other and---"Cas?" 

Cas and Dean jump startled. A tall moose closes the door with Eileen holding his hand. "Sam. Weren't you supposed to be gone for another day? Catching up with Eileen."

"Yeah." Sam shifts awkwardly trying to contain his relief that Dean could stop mourning off Cas. "I just dropped by to get something---"

Eileen interrupted, "Yeah, but we just realized we don't need it anymore."

"But--" Eileen gave Sam a pointed look. Sam turned away from Eileen towards Dean and Cas with an exasperated bitch face. "Yeah, never mind. I'll see you two tomorrow."

The metal door slammed shut behind them. Dean shifted closer to the angel. His angel. 

_I love you._

_I love you too._

**Author's Note:**

> Anygay, this is the first ao3 fanfic I wrote. I refuse to drop my Wattpad bc it's terrible and I remain anon on there. Might do a chapter 2 of Cas explaining what happened and how he's human but idrk. HAVE A GREAT DAY Y'ALL! And remember: what finale?


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